Most of us might have experienced social isolation from friends and relatives. Even in childhood, one might have experienced social isolation. The issue of social isolation or a boycott by a group of individuals affects people at every stage of life. Isolation by an individual or a group may be deliberate or natural. The intention of writing this article is not to correct people who have the habit of isolating and humiliating others, but to motivate victims of humiliation and social isolation to deal with the situation.
2. Natural Isolation: The main reason for natural isolation is “Out of Sight, Out of Mind”. If you are not in contact with a person for a long time, the relationship naturally dies, i.e., it goes into a state of natural isolation. After leaving an organisation, if you are not in touch with anyone there, you naturally become isolated from the organisation and its people. There is a natural isolation from the office and colleagues after retirement.
3. Deliberate Isolation: Deliberate isolation may be voluntary or under compulsion. In deliberate isolation, a person deliberately avoids contact with others or entities. In some cases, a person involves a group to avoid or isolate another person, leading to a social boycott of that person. A person may deliberately volunteer to isolate themselves from a group. If it is otherwise, then a person getting isolated is deliberately isolated under compulsion. Often, a person is deliberately isolated by their nearest kin.
4. Since a man is a social animal who likes to live in a group or society and feels hurt when come to know about isolation by a person or a group of persons. Natural isolation is never taken seriously, but deliberate isolation by another person or a group is taken very seriously by a person being isolated. Deliberate isolation by close friends and relatives hurts more.
5. I know an incident where a couple was invited to attend the marriage ceremony of their nearest kin. The host asked them to arrive 3 days before the wedding. The host family allowed them to stay in their residence. They stayed there for six days until all the marriage-related rituals were completed. From the very next day of their arrival, they began to feel isolated and neglected by the host. The host was ignoring them. They had no choice but to endure the host's humiliation during their stay, as they could not leave immediately because return train tickets were unavailable on short notice. This is the case where a family was invited to subject them to humiliation.
6. I know another incident where a host arranged a family get-together by inviting his siblings and their family members. The host had a 4-month-old kid. The host’s wife was under tremendous pressure to manage the guests while caring for her child. She was doing it with pleasure. She was entertaining all the guests with equal care. But the spouse of one of the siblings started playing family politics by allying with the spouse of another sibling, aiming to ignore and isolate the host’s wife. At home, she began to feel isolated and ignored by them. But she had to bear humiliation because she could not leave her own home, nor could she tell them to leave her home. This is the case where the guests ignored the host and his family members.
7. There are many ways of isolating a person and their family by their nearest relatives, including siblings. They find such scope during family get-togethers, weddings, or other ceremonies and various social events. Such persons, who are experts at isolating and humiliating others, find various ways to humiliate others. Often, humiliations are nonverbal and silent. At a small ceremony where close relatives were invited, a woman deliberately hugged another woman in the presence of the other women by ignoring them. There is another way to isolate a person in such gatherings, i.e., by wishing everyone except a particular person. I know many of us might have faced such humiliation in gatherings and social events. My concern is with the victims of such isolation, not with the persons who humiliate others.
8. Let us discuss how to deal with such humiliation and social isolation. One thing we should keep in mind is that we are all under others' scrutiny at such social events. The person who humiliates and purposefully isolates others is observed by other persons silently. Nobody forms a negative opinion about the victim of such humiliation; they form a negative opinion about the person who humiliates and isolates others. Never give importance to a person who ignores or isolates you, or anyone else, in a social gathering. Never indulge in argument with such persons, as it will be sheer wastage of your energy, and ultimately it will not change them. However, your argument will give undue importance to them. Silently, distance yourself from such persons in social gatherings and instead mix with those who are interested in you.
9. Never feel sad about such an incident when someone deliberately isolates you or tries to put you down in such gatherings. Never react, as your reaction will serve the purpose of such persons. One simple funda is to avoid and ignore the person avoiding you. This will enhance your self-esteem. Avoid discussion on such incidents with others, as it will unnecessarily engage your mind in negative thinking. Such types of persons exist in society; it is up to us whether to maintain contact with them.
10. How to take the things when your nearest relatives and kin are avoiding you. First, you try to find out the reasons from them. If you find that they don’t have a valid reason to avoid you, as you know that you never hurt them, then delete them from your mind and distance yourself from them. Remember that they don’t want to keep in touch with you, even though you never hurt them. The reasons may be something else, e.g., their personal ego or jealousy, which you are not responsible for. Keep strong bonds within your family and spend quality time together so that social isolation by another person will not affect you. Be in the social circle of quality people with a positive attitude.
11. Never discuss much about the incidence of social isolation with your friends and family members, as it may disturb your mental peace. Keep yourselves involved in various activities and in pursuing hobbies. Forgive and forget the people who hurt you by isolating or avoiding you. You are not forgiving them for their interest but for your own interest in keeping your mental health in sound condition.
12. I hope this write-up may help you in dealing with such isolations. If you have anything to say, please write your comment in the comment section of this blog.
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