#Expectations in Life

Every individual has some expectations in life. Having expectations is not bad. But the question is, how to deal with our expectations? We have certain expectations from ourselves as well as from others during our lives. Our expectations are not always the same throughout our life's journey. It varies at different stages of our lives. When we talk about our expectations of ourselves and others, we should not forget that others also have expectations of us. If we discuss our expectations of ourselves and others, we can clarify what others expect of us.

Let us first discuss our expectations. It varies during various stages of life. During childhood, one has many expectations from parents to fulfill their needs. A child expects love and affection from parents. A child expects a caring attitude from their parent. A growing child expects their parent to create a congenial atmosphere at home, which will aid in the child's overall development. Children consider their parents as role models and therefore expect them to have maturity and behave responsibly. A child during the adolescence stage expects proper guidance from parents. During the adolescent stage, a child expects their parent to be a friend, philosopher, and guide. A child also has some expectations from teachers. A child expects a helpful attitude from teachers in addressing academically related issues. A child also expects proper guidance from teachers, not only in academic matters, but also in other areas, such as interpersonal relationships and social behaviors. During childhood, we had most of the expectations from others than from ourselves.

As we grow, the expectations of others of us also gain importance. During our adulthood, our family members, including our spouse, children, and parents, have expectations of us. Our family members expect us to take care of them and to fulfil their basic needs. In the workplace, our boss and colleagues have expectations of us. Even the society in which we live has some expectations of us. The society expects us to maintain peace, harmony, and cleanliness in the locality. The State in which we live also has some minimum expectations of us. The state expects us to abide by the rules and regulations it has framed, pay the required taxes to the State, and contribute to the nation's development and progress.

During the adult stage, we have some expectations of ourselves. We have expectations of having a job that we like and are interested in. We have expectations of having a life partner of our choice and forming a family. We have expectations to have a good house, a car, and a good bank balance. We have expectations of achieving good and stable earnings, making progress in our profession, and providing the best education to our children. During this stage, one has very few expectations from others. One has expectations of commitment and loyalty from spouse, respect from children and fellow beings, polite behaviors from others, and respect in society.

During old age, i.e., after retirement from job and profession, expectations of others on us drastically reduce. During this stage, our children are already grown up and no longer have any expectations from us. Since we are retired from our job and profession, there is hardly any question of our erstwhile boss and colleagues expecting anything from us. The only person who keeps expectations on us is our spouse or life partner. During the transition phase of entering retirement life, it becomes a challenge for many senior citizens to handle the situation when others' expectations of them are drastically reduced. Many senior citizens feel depressed after retirement when they realize that their colleagues are no longer expecting any suggestions related to work from them. During this phase of life, many senior citizens start expecting from others, particularly family members. They hope that family members should seek their opinions or suggestions before taking any crucial decisions.

It is better to view situations of non-expectations from others in a positive light. During old age, it is natural to have very few or no expectations of others. It is one way better for seniors, as it reduces their responsibilities and helps them lead the rest of their lives with less stress and worry. Instead, it will allow them to lead their lives in their own way. It is better not to have expectations from others, including family members, during this stage of life, as unfulfilled expectations can lead to unhappiness. It is fair enough to have expectations of oneself to stay motivated and lead a fulfilling life. While setting expectations for oneself, it is better to evaluate the chances of their fulfillment based on one’s resources and capacity. Any expectation of oneself that exceeds one's capacity may lead to its non-fulfillment, ultimately bringing unhappiness. It is advisable not to repent for unfulfilled expectations from the past. Instead, one should cherish the memory of expectations that have been fulfilled.

One should not forget that during old age, the only person who can have expectations from you is your spouse. Express your self-expectations freely to your spouse and allow her/him to do the same with you. Few expectations may be common. Make a sincere effort to fulfill your common expectations, as well as your self-expectations and those of your spouse. Joint efforts will be more helpful not only for its fulfillment, but also for developing understanding and creating a strong bond. ‘Manage expectations and accept both its fulfillment and non-fulfillment’ is the mantra to stay happy during old age.